(This post is affectionately dedicated to my wonderful wife, Mary Jane. Today is our 35th wedding anniversary. I love you, Mary Jane! You are the one – the one and only – for me. Even after 35 years, you and the Lord are still teaching me what love really means.)
How should a man treat his wife?
What does the Qur’an say about such an important topic? I would like for any of my Muslim readers to help me (and any non-Muslim readers) to learn and understand by pointing us to verses in the Qur’an about marriage.
Since I am not an expert in the Qur’an, I would like to share just a little of what the Bible says about how a man should treat his wife.
Here are some principles for husbands from the Bible:
***Trust That God Can Do Great Things In Your Marriage – Even If You Think That You Made A Mistake In Marrying Your Wife! (some people really do struggle with the thought that they made a mistake or a bad choice when they got married; they need to trust God and have faith in Him that – no matter what happened in the past – He can do great things in their marriage in the present and in the future)
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (the prophet Sulaiman – Solomon – in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 16, verse 9)
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God. . .” (the Letter of Paul to the Romans, chapter 8, verse 28)
“. . .with God all things are possible.” (the prophet Jesus in The Good News According to Matthew, chapter 19, verse 26)
***Realize That You Are Responsible Before God To Be The Leader Of The Family But Know That Leadership Means Humbly Serving Your Wife And Children, Not Being An Arrogant Dictator!
“I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (The First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3)
“In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people. . .But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.” (the prophet Jesus in The Good News According to Luke, chapter 22, verses 25-26)
***Realize That You Are The Primary Provider For Your Wife And Family
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (The First Letter of Paul to Timothy, chapter 5, verse 8)
***Treat Your Wife With The Respect That She Deserves
“Husbands. . .be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect. . . so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (The First Letter Of Peter, chapter 3, verse 7)
***Don’t Treat Your Wife Like A Second Class Citizen Or A Person Of Lesser Value
“. . .In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. . .she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” (The First Letter Of Peter, chapter 3, verse 7, NLT)
***Love Your Wife Sacrificially
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. . .” (the Letter of Paul to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 25)
***Take Care Of Your Wife
“. . .husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body. . .” (the Letter of Paul to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 28)
***Be Kind And Gentle With Your Wife
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (the Letter of Paul to the Colossians, chapter 3, verse 19)
***Avoid An Adulterous Affair As You Would Avoid A Poisonous Snake, A Roaring Tornado, Or A Spreading Plague (An Affair Can Destroy You, Your Wife, Your Children, Your Honor)
“. . .give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding; that you may observe discretion. . .the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol. . .Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one. . .and you groan at your final end, when your flesh and your body are consumed. . .Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well.” (the prophet Sulaiman – Solomon – in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 5, verses 1-15)
***Take Delight In Your Wife
“. . .rejoice in the wife of your youth. . .Be exhilarated always with her love.” (the prophet Sulaiman – Solomon – in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 5, verses 18-19)
***Keep In Mind That God Hates Divorce
“. . .the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. . .Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. ‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord. . .’So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.'” (the prophet Malachi, chapter 2, verses 14-16)
***Keep Learning What Love Means
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (The First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4-7)
How should a man treat his wife?
God tells us!
Let us obey Him.
Let us truly love the wife He has given us.