(This post is affectionately dedicated to my wonderful wife, Mary Jane. Today is our 35th wedding anniversary. I love you, Mary Jane! You are the one – the one and only – for me. Even after 35 years, you and the Lord are still teaching me what love really means.)
How should a man treat his wife?
What does the Qur’an say about such an important topic? I would like for any of my Muslim readers to help me (and any non-Muslim readers) to learn and understand by pointing us to verses in the Qur’an about marriage.
Since I am not an expert in the Qur’an, I would like to share just a little of what the Bible says about how a man should treat his wife.
Here are some principles for husbands from the Bible:
***Trust That God Can Do Great Things In Your Marriage – Even If You Think That You Made A Mistake In Marrying Your Wife! (some people really do struggle with the thought that they made a mistake or a bad choice when they got married; they need to trust God and have faith in Him that – no matter what happened in the past – He can do great things in their marriage in the present and in the future)
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (the prophet Sulaiman – Solomon – in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 16, verse 9)
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God. . .” (the Letter of Paul to the Romans, chapter 8, verse 28)
“. . .with God all things are possible.” (the prophet Jesus in The Good News According to Matthew, chapter 19, verse 26)
***Realize That You Are Responsible Before God To Be The Leader Of The Family But Know That Leadership Means Humbly Serving Your Wife And Children, Not Being An Arrogant Dictator!
“I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (The First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 3)
“In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people. . .But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.” (the prophet Jesus in The Good News According to Luke, chapter 22, verses 25-26)
***Realize That You Are The Primary Provider For Your Wife And Family
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (The First Letter of Paul to Timothy, chapter 5, verse 8)
***Treat Your Wife With The Respect That She Deserves
“Husbands. . .be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect. . . so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (The First Letter Of Peter, chapter 3, verse 7)
***Don’t Treat Your Wife Like A Second Class Citizen Or A Person Of Lesser Value
“. . .In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. . .she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” (The First Letter Of Peter, chapter 3, verse 7, NLT)
***Love Your Wife Sacrificially
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. . .” (the Letter of Paul to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 25)
***Take Care Of Your Wife
“. . .husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body. . .” (the Letter of Paul to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 28)
***Be Kind And Gentle With Your Wife
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (the Letter of Paul to the Colossians, chapter 3, verse 19)
***Avoid An Adulterous Affair As You Would Avoid A Poisonous Snake, A Roaring Tornado, Or A Spreading Plague (An Affair Can Destroy You, Your Wife, Your Children, Your Honor)
“. . .give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding; that you may observe discretion. . .the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol. . .Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one. . .and you groan at your final end, when your flesh and your body are consumed. . .Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well.” (the prophet Sulaiman – Solomon – in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 5, verses 1-15)
***Take Delight In Your Wife
“. . .rejoice in the wife of your youth. . .Be exhilarated always with her love.” (the prophet Sulaiman – Solomon – in the Book of Proverbs, chapter 5, verses 18-19)
***Keep In Mind That God Hates Divorce
“. . .the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. . .Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. ‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord. . .’So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.'” (the prophet Malachi, chapter 2, verses 14-16)
***Keep Learning What Love Means
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (The First Letter of Paul to the Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4-7)
How should a man treat his wife?
God tells us!
Let us obey Him.
Let us truly love the wife He has given us.
Great stuff, Mark. Congrats to you and your wife.
One of Jesus’ followers, Peter, left a real gem of truth for us in marriage. He said,
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
To truly understand your wife, and then live with her in an understanding way will change your lives and even your prayer relationship with God.
It first means we know her. Do you know your wife? Her strengths, weaknesses, preferences, frustrations and needs. We then “honor” her in those areas by adjusting our lifestyle, words, and preferences. To dishonor your wife in those ways would be to criticize or challenge her inappropriately.
Most men do this all the time. We put our expectations and styles upon our wife and in effect say, “Live like that!” Or, “React like that!.” She is not a man. She is not me. She has her own ways and I need to truly understand them and live harmoniously with her.
God sees this as a way to life. He sees this as a way to a richer prayer life with Him. Why? Because we will be honoring God’s daughter. He will rejoice in that. And we will be loving others as He loves us.
She is an heir to life in God and is honored by Him.
“Rejoice with the wife of your youth!”
Right on stuff, Brent. Thanks so much.
Yes, your point from the Apostle Peter about “living with your wife in an understanding way” is so huge! And. . .I think it takes a lifetime to learn. Men and women are so amazingly different just because of our genders. But also, any two people in a marriage have different personality types, different family backgrounds, different life experiences, different ways to give and receive love, and different wounds and baggage that they bring into a marriage.
It takes real effort – love – to learn about our wife’s uniquenesses and appreciate them. It takes real prayer to become a Jesus kind of unselfish lover for our wife. And it takes real dying to ourselves so that our wife feels that we love her at least as much as we love ourself.
Maybe God really did make marriage more to make us holy than to make us happy – to coin a phrase from Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Marriage.
Our happiness in marriage is important to him but our holiness seems to be his highest priority.
If your first priority is to be holy as He is holy, you can enjoy even a difficult marriage.
Yes, great point in your response. I might suggest a change in a few words however:
From: “If your first priority is to be holy as He is holy, you can enjoy even a difficult marriage.”
To: “If your first priority is to be holy as He is holy, you can have joy – even in a difficult marriage.”
What do you think?
Praise be to God – the Almighty – we praise Him, and seek His help and forgiveness, and we seek refuge in Allah – the Almighty – from the evils of ourselves and our disadvantage, of يهد God is not misleading him, and not mislead Hadi him, and I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone with no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger.
) O ye who believe, fear Allah as He should be feared and die unless you are Muslims (Al-Imran: 102].
) O people, fear your Lord, who created you from one husband and creating them and transmit them many men and women and fear God who تساءلون the wombs that God you were a sergeant (women: 1.
) O ye who believe, fear God and speak always the truth * fit your deeds and forgive you your sins and obey Allah and His Messenger, has won a great victory (parties: 70 – 71].
The modern believe the Book of Allah – the Almighty – and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad – peace be upon him – the evil things محدثاتها, updated every innovation, and every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance in the fire.
Before talking about the rights of the wife and her, we would like to correct a wrong concept some people think about women, this concept makes them deal with women with caution; has understood the error of the Quranic verse, they said: The Kid women worse than Kid Devil.
They say: ‘God said Kid Devil, said:) The Kid Devil was weak (women: 76], and when women said Kidd said:) The great Kidkin ([Yusuf: 28].
It is this sense dealing with women as worse than the devil, and be careful of them.
This concept is wrong; God because of what Kid Devil described as weak; any: Compared to Kidd God.
As described Kidd women as great; any: For Kid Joseph – peace be upon him – no comparison between the women and Kid Kid Devil.
Based on this we say for couples as the Prophet – peace be upon him -: ((Rafka بالقوارير)).
You do you deal with the feelings fluffy creature gives Without Borders, all tenderness and compassion, and the bag discovered these sensations and feelings, and best directing.
Before talking about the rights of the wife, I want you to stand neutral equitable, and ask you a question: if you hired a maid in the day, Vgselt you your clothes, then the Pkaha, then Tht food for you, and cleaned housing, and raising children, what recompense you? Does this will be met with kindness, but in truth like him? How can your wife that you do all this?! This is unlike eliminate your need to have intercourse.
– There is no doubt that a good wife of the greatest blessings of God – the Almighty – the man after the blessing of Islam; Therefore man must save and care, and to thank the Lord for this blessing.
God has made the relationship between spouses of closer relations known to mankind, perhaps there is no relationship between the two as there is between the spouses, has been linked to God – the Almighty – this relationship affection and compassion; said – the Almighty -:) that He created for you mates from among yourselves to repose them and put between you affection and mercy (Romans: 21].
Time meant these qualities in a marriage.
All that was of the rights of spouses, based in the truth to save their love and compassion:
Women: The dress husband, jacket, tranquility and calm his heart, a mother and son, and his partner, they have the rights of the husband, and the husband rights to them; for saying – the Almighty -:) and they like on Eid (al-Baqarah: 228], and the words of the Prophet – peace be upon him – as when Tirmidhi: ((not that you really on your wives, and your wives, you really)).
For a Muslim man to understand these rights, and courted his wife, and leads of their rights, and be careful to consent and her love; until the last ten between them, so do not let the devil an opportunity to Tharih between him and his wife and differentiate between them; because this is the maximum of what he wishes the devil, The best thing enters pleasure it is to differentiate between the couple, but – God willing – will cut him this.
In Saheeh Muslim narrated from Jabir – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((The devil puts his throne on the water, and then sends سراياه, Vadnahm him the status of greatest of sedition, comes one of them says: I did so and so, he says: what I have done something, then someone Iji says: what left him so dispersed between him and his wife, said: Vidnyh him, and say: yes, you )).
It is the wife’s marital rights:
• dowry and dowry: It is money that take profited by women alone because of the marriage, and his obligatory, and the evidence for that:
From the Koran:
• saying – the Almighty -:) and pay the women صدقاتهن, the bee Tabn to you about something it a فكلوه breath Blessed مريئا the (women: 4].
Adding the God – the Almighty -) charity (to them, and added the Add King, This indicates that the dowry the right of women would benefit him alone, and no one has access to it until the parents and the nearest of kin to them, unless authorized them the satisfaction and good itself, and free will.
• said – the Almighty -:) فانكحوهن the permission of their parents and Atohn wages Virtue (women: 25].
• said – the Almighty -:) Vatohn of wages statute (women: 24].
If given women dowry for one because of deceptive or coercion, or shame or fear; فالمهر forbidden to those who take it and eat it; said – the Almighty -:) If you want the replacement pair place husband and come one of them quintals do not you take something from him أتأخذونه slander and manifest sin (women: 20 ].
It is the year:
• The Al-Bukhaari and Muslim from Anas – may Allah be pleased with him: – “that Abdul Rahman bin Auf – may Allah be pleased with him – he said to the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: married woman, he said: ((What Osedktha?)), He said: the weight of the nucleus of gold, he said: ((God bless you, Ulm though lamb)).
• Al-Bukhaari and Muslim from Anas – may Allah be pleased with him: – “that the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – freed descriptive, make عتقها her dowry.”
And other evidence, which indicates the obligation for women to Friendship, and this is what the Muslims are unanimously agreed; also said that Ibn Qudamah in al-Mughni (6/679).
I have warned of Islam deceive women and eat her dowry, vowed the Prophet – peace be upon him – who did this in the strongest warnings; has directed the Governor – bail Hassan Albaani – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((The greatest sins to God: a man marries a woman, and when he had finished he needs them, he divorced her and went بمهرها, and a man used a man, went Bogerth, and another kills an animal vain)); string correct: (999).
The improve cohabitation Virtue: “good treatment”:
Meant by Ihsan companionship, and keeping harm, and not overlooking rights with the ability, and show humans and fluency and extroversion, which is obligatory for the husband, the parent saying – the Almighty -:) and enjoining what عاشروهن (women: 19].
Ibn Kathir said in his commentary on this verse:
“Any: طيبوا the Oqgualkm them, and improved your actions and Haiatkm according to your ability as you like them, then do you like him; also said – the Almighty -:) and they like on Eid … ([Al-Baqarah: 228].
And the Prophet – peace be upon him – as in true son Hibbaan,: ((The best of the best to his family, and I’m kind to my family)).
Qurtubi said in this verse:
“It is like saying – the Almighty -:) Vamsak of kindness ([Al-Baqarah: 229], توفية the right of the dowry, alimony, and not يعبس in her face without guilt, and not be rude nor solemn, nor inclined to look elsewhere.
This verse summarized, they collected all the pros ten kinds of good treatment with the wife, and not يحتقرها nor disparage her family, and other things that are not interested in women, it should not be for the husband to do it with women.
Fear God, O pair in your spouse, and see into compassion to the words of the Prophet – peace be upon him: ((Treat women well; they Awan with you)).
Ie: prisoners, and this shows vulnerability and Mskintha.
The meaning of the words of the Prophet – peace be upon him -: ((kind to)): is Alastaisae, meaning Alastaisae: Accept the commandment, as if to say: I advise them, فاقبلوا my will therein, or the meaning is: Seek commandment; ie: from yourselves in their right.
The pair must treat her kindly, and he has to يترفق; The Prophet – peace be upon him – as in Sahih Muslim: ((deprived of kindness, denied all goodness)).
The guardian of the Prophet – peace be upon him – women, he said – as when Bukhari and Muslim -: ((kind to women well; they speak out freely from the rib crooked, though crooked thing in the rib above, I went hosted break it, but his legacy is still crooked; Fastousoa women good)).
The Prophet – peace be upon him – wants to Hassan intercourse with women, if a man aware of the encroachment of women which فطرها God upon, then the deal on this basis, and treats from the door of the credit, فيحسن morals with them.
The Prophet – peace be upon him – as in Sunan Tirmidhi bail, is true: ((complete believers in faith is best in ethics, and your choice your choice to their wives)).
When Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibbaan: ((The best of the best to his family, and I’m kind to my family)); Sindh properly.
And what speeches Ali – may Allah be pleased with him – Fatima – God bless them – said the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((is for you to be accompanied by improved)); Tabaraani the bond properly.
Of good companionship and cohabitation Virtue:
1 – fluent face and a good word:
Was directed by Imam Muslim that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((not Thakrn of something known, even though your brother received generally divorced)).
In another novel – Abu Dawood, Albanian and correct – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((not Thakrn of something known, and spoke your brother and you are an extrovert to your face; it is known)).
It be known with your brother Muslim curious about you, let alone if the face flat for your wife, and said the Prophet – peace be upon him – as well as when Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him -: ((a good word charity)).
It is deserving of a wife this is known, and this charity?! So let your words to your wife worship.
The good of the word magic in the hearts of people, especially women; they owners emotions irritation smile and good words.
The woman does not need money and pleasures of this world, any more than you need a good word, feel the dignity and worth of humanity; word is good and the beautiful smile of the most expensive gifts offered by the husband to his wife, especially when the woman serving her and her husband, فيقابلها word good: to pray for her well , and pray that God bless them, a woman if any Marovha the thanks, and that little goodness nor disbelieves – commended that of her husband, and has been active for the charity to him, doing his command would, but that was certain her to stay on the Promotion of Virtue ten.
See – beloved brother – to reward and penalty speech Tayeb:
Directed by Imam Ahmad and Governor Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((if in Paradise offers sees face value of its interior, and the interior of the face value)), said Abu Malik al-Ash’ari: those who are O Messenger God? He said – peace be upon him -: ((who أطاب speech, food and feed, and pat in place and people are asleep)).
Says Sheikh Mohammed Ismail presented – as in “the return of the veil” (1/417): – “The good word expensive when the wife – in many cases – of the ornaments of precious and dress luxurious new; because the passion granulocytes broadcast by the good word soul food Just as it is not the life of the hull without food, so no life of the spirit without the words sweet nice.
I thank your wife on the dish delicious food that was prepared for you with her hands, thank them with a smile and a look kindness and tenderness, bend it, and talked about the merit and beauty, and women يعجبهن praise, and affects therein, I remember her Amtnank for sponsorship, and serve you and your home and your children.
As has been said: good ten good speech, good effective and bodies, and to overlook the lapses.
• and to see Hassan effective Prophet – peace be upon him – with his family; was directed by Imam Muslim from Aisha – God bless them – said: “I drank from the pot and I was menstruating, then Onolh Prophet – peace be upon him – فيضع his mouth on the subject in, Otariq the race and I was menstruating, to whom I give the Prophet – peace be upon him – and put his mouth in the position you put into it my mouth. ”
2 – to sit down with them and Aaanasseha and Asamerha:
As he did the Prophet – peace be upon him – with his wives, he was the Prophet – peace be upon him – prayed dinner and then go to his house, and enters on his family and tell them Asamram, it فلهن human.
Vlintbh to this who spend Sohrathm on cafes, or in the clubs, or when the brothers, and then go to his house and his wife asleep, and probably came out in the morning in her sleep also, where friendliness and mankind and good treatment?!
Where is the teachings of the Prophet – peace be upon him – and saying – the Almighty -:) Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a good example ([parties: 21].
When Bukhari and Muslim that Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: “The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – if prayed two rak’ahs dawn, the you are vigilant told me, and only slept until authorized to pray.”
3 – decorated and beautifying her:
It cohabitation Virtue that is decorated and beautifying her, as he likes to look beautiful are his; said Yahya bin Abdulrahman Alhandala: “I came Mohammed bin Tap, went out to the peplos red, and beard dripping from expensive , I said: What is this? Said: This Almlhfah delivered on my wife, Dhuntna to Bettayeb, they Asthen us who نشتهي are of them. ”
Ibn Abbas said – God bless them -:
“I like to Laatzen for my wife, as I like to go be festooned with me”; interpretation of the verse (5/97).
4 – love and compassion:
Valmoudh and compassion out of good companionship and cohabitation Virtue, which is the secret of happiness; – says:) that He created for you mates from among yourselves, in tranquility with them and He has put between you affection and mercy … (Rum: 21].
Photos affection and compassion:
What brought him the news, which was narrated by Imam Muslim from the mother of believers Aisha – God bless them – said: “What hit the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – something that never in his hand, nor a woman, nor a servant, but labors in the way of Allah, and Neil him something never, Ventqm of the owner, but violates everything from tissues God, Ventqm of. ”
This talk shows clearly that the Prophet – peace be upon him – did not win never for himself, but to deal with his wives iPod and mercy, but that violate God’s tissues; was so angry.
5 – to deliver them if you entered the house:
It cohabitation Virtue to deliver man on his wife if she entered her home; the causes of spread love and affection between the couple, and the reasons for bringing the pond; was directed by Imam Muslim that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((and my hand, do not come into the Paradise until you believe, and believe even love one another, first Shall I show you something if you did تحاببتم? أفشوا peace among you)).
And Tirmidhi from Anas – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((My son, if you entered on your family greeted, not your peace blessing to you and to your family)); properly carrot and the stick (1608).
It entered his family in peace, he is both God and save and sponsorship; as stated in the hadeeth narrated by Abu Dawood and Ibn Hibbaan from Abu Umaamah – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((three all guarantor on God ; The Rizk lived and the palms, even if he dies enter paradise of God: the income of his house and greeted, he is the guarantor of God …)), talk.
6 – to respect her family:
Faoukarham and raise their business before private, neither يوبخهم nor Ivmanm, and this increases the loving wife to her husband, and the treatment of his family likewise; shall be harmony instead of discord, and familiarity place Nafrah the, and mankind place of solitude.
7 – sponsored that if I get sick:
Has missed Othman Ibn Affan – may Allah be pleased with him – for the Battle of Badr; Because Wife kite girl Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – was sick, he said the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((I do with it, and you pay the saw Badra and its share)); Narrated by Bukhari.
8 – to help her if you were sick, or in the weight of it, or when the pregnancy, or when the situation:
This is not a defect or a lack of manliness man, but it is a chivalry and generosity, mercy and compassion, and ruthless ruthless; The Prophet – peace be upon him – as in “Mustadrak ruling” – bond correctly -: ((الراحمون mercy of God, Have mercy people of the earth, the inhabitants of heaven bless you)).
Here is the greatest men Muhammad – peace be upon him – not disdain never – He carries the burden of the Islamic nation as a whole – to help his wife in the work of the house, my father and mother – peace be upon him – an ideal; Bukhaari in “Literature singular” Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – she said: “The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – Lively robe, milking sheep, and serves the same” – In the novel -: “يخصف was the sole, and patched garment and sews.”
When Bukhari that black bin Yazid Nakha’i asked Aisha – God bless them -: “What was the Prophet – peace be upon him – made at home? Said: it was to be in the profession of his family, if he hears the adhaan came out,” and when Bukhari also narrated from Aisha – God bless them -: “The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – have a career in his family – his family service means – If you attended the prayer went out to pray.”
9 – be patient with them, and forgive them and take into consideration where the part of the innate deficiencies:
What us from one only has faults and sins, and this is the nature of human beings and the nature of women; also understand us Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – as when Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him – said: ((Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, If you saw something فليتكلم fine or to remain silent, and Treat women; the women were created from the rib, and Crooked something in the rib above, if you go hosted break it, but his legacy is still crooked, Treat women well)).
This hadeeth indicates that women are, but do it gently.
Hafiz Ibn Hajar said in the “Open” (9/206):
“In the modern symbol to Calendar lightly; so exaggerated not break the, do not let him فيستمر on crooked, and to this Bukhari pointed at the door”;. E.
In another interview – is in Musnad Ahmad, and horses, as in “the Whole” – from Samra – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((The women were created from the rib, and that if you are a Rib break it, Fdarha, dine out)), does not mean that not warp calendar, especially if it exceeded the limits of God; Ibn Hajar said in “Fath Al-Bari” (9/207):
“Taken him not to leave her warp, if exceeded what it printed shortage to sin Bembachertha abuse, or leave a duty, but leaves on Aauajjajha in things permissible”;. E.
And intended broken – to talk – Divorce; as stated in the novel Muslim: ((although gone evaluated كسرتها, and broken: divorce)).
The believer knows that things are appreciated God, FRP something sees the evil came of it good; – says:), Ltamohen of it may be that you dislike a thing and God makes him much good (women: 19].
It should be for a man to take into account this shortcoming, and turns a blind eye to some of the errors of the wife, if not a breach of the laws of God, do not take this shortcoming is justified to challenge the woman’s personality, or detract from an in Ann while, but makes this modern medicine to cure any problem conjugal therefore expected default spouse.
The pair remembers the words of the Prophet – peace be upon him – hard in Sahih Muslim narrated from Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him -: ((not rubbed locked locked , that hated them created, pleased with another)).
In this modern reference to non-regardless spousal college; making him leave her, but it – An event of default – to look at the bright side of morals bona other Fagd party on the disadvantages and remembers its advantages, how her hands white it; In the “correct “Aisha – God bless them – she said:” I have not seen a woman never good in the religion of Zainab, fearing God and believe recently, and brought to the womb and the greatest charity, and more ابتذالا for itself in the work that ratify it and bring it, except Sura of the unit was where, accelerate including الفيئة “.
In this talk is evidence that women must not be the slightest mistake or omission in what order, the pair must be wise to overlook such lapses, and forgive in a simple default – unless the debt – given مآثرها and other merit.
Just look how he Zubair bin Awam turn a blind eye on some of the disadvantages of his wife; When Bukhari modern names – God bless them – said: “I did not knead bake, bake me was from the Ansar neighbors, Be wives sincerity”.
– If the pair found deficient in something, فليتذكر other acts of good wife, and thus live with Salim al-Sadr, it is imperative for the couple to skip lapses each other; to continue married life.
Ghazali said – may God have mercy on him – in the “revival” (4/720):
“I know that it is not good manners with women palm harm them, but may harm them, and dream when طيشها and anger; following the example of the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – was his wives Trajanh speak, Thgerh one of them day to night;” a. E.
Al-Bukhaari and Muslim from Omar – may Allah be pleased with him – that his wife approached by the speech, he said: Otrajaana O Kaaa? , she said: The pairs Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – Arajanh which is good for you, Omar said: dashed Hafsa and lost that reviewed by, and then said to Hafsa: No Tgtra daughter Abi dipper; they love the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – and fear of the audit “; has Bukhaari and Muslim narrated from Aisha – God bless them – said:” The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – tell me: ((I know your anger satisfied)), said: How do you know? He said: ((if she agrees, I said: No, god of Muhammad, and if you get angry, I said: No, the God of Abraham)), said: ratified but Jilt your name. ”
In the novel it – peace be upon him – said to her: ((I know if you are satisfied with me, and if you are angry)), said: Where do you know that? He said: ((If you are satisfied with me, you say: the Lord of Muhammad, and if you’re angry, I said: No God of Abraham)), said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah, what Jilt only your name. ”
Just look to this position, which treated the Prophet – peace be upon him – with wisdom, and taking into account the feelings of women that motivated jealousy; has directed women from Anas bin Malik – may Allah be pleased with him – he said: “The Prophet – peace be upon him – when some of his wives, sending one of the mothers of the believers – descriptive – بصحفة where food, hitting the Prophet – peace be upon him – in her home – a Aisha – by the server, and she fell dish, Fanflguet, gathered the Prophet – peace be upon him – joints dish, then make combines the food that was in the dish, and says: Gart your mother, Gart your mother, then locked server – ordered him to wait – until he came to بصحفة of when that is in her home, pushing the dish right to that broke Sahvtha, grabbed the broken in the house that broke it. ”
See, dear brother to the disposal of the Prophet – peace be upon him – in this position, and how they treated him, and how the situation passed without the slightest problem, you can imagine that this happened to you, what would you do?
I leave you to answer.
10 – that safeguarded and preserve, and make her feel safe with him:
Of the rights of the wife to her husband to protect her and safeguarded from everything raking her modesty, or spoil her religion or worldly.
He should choose safe housing, do not leave it in an abandoned house or Lonesome unsafe, or dwelling suspicious.
11 – and he has to prevent her from all sorts of corruption from the mixing of women sluts.
12 – and he has to stop her from reading the stories, promiscuous, and pornographic magazines, racy movies.
13 – and he has to stop her from going to the clubs.
14 – and it prevents them from hearing the songs obscenity and الخنا.
15 – and he has to stop her from Finery and adornments.
16 – and he has to prevent them from mixing with all men only male relative, but warns in-law, who are relatives of the husband men: a brother, or a nephew, and so on; That is because the Prophet – peace be upon him – as when Bukhari and Muslim: ((and the man is the shepherd of his family , which is responsible for his flock)).
Many of calamities occur in homes; due to the province of man to his wife, he is allowed to sit with the men in the house, and allows them to تكلمهم in “Phone”, but allows them to go out to meet the men at work, and then be the consequences what is known and imperceptible, We hear and read about it in our contemporary reality.
There are those who allow it to sit in front of the TV to watch the men and wantonness views, and If rotted women or event no dire consequences, then the man say: Oh, this, you are the reason; because you wastes and failed to maintain.
The Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah – may Allah have mercy on him – as in “total fatwa” (32 / 264-265) about a man who has a wife struck between people Mnadjiys, which comes out to the vulva and to places of corruption, and cohabiting with spoilers, so if he was told: go This bad housing, he says: I her husband Crown referee in my wife, Crown housing, can he?
He replied: “Praise be to Allah, not to him that inhabited where he wants, and give it to where he wants, but dwell in the house fit to like her, do not come out when the people of debauchery, but does not have to have intercourse with the ungodly on فجورهم, and when doing so, it shall that punished Aqhobtin:
Punishment for immorality, according to what he has done, and the death to leave his wife, maintenance, and remove them to places of debauchery, punishable by the death deterred and his ilk like that, and God knows best. ”
17 – that improves conjecture, nor Atakunha:
It is not for the husband to offend probably his wife, nor Atakunha, and seek its pitfalls, it is forbidden by the Prophet – peace be upon him – was Abu Dawood that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((The jealousy jealousy hates God, a jealous the man on his family is suspiciously)).
In Saheeh Muslim narrated from Jabir ibn Abdullah – may Allah be pleased with him – said: “The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – the man to knock his family  at night Atkhounhm, or ask عثراتهم”.
The bucking some teachings of the Prophet – peace be upon him – and he saw when his family man, Foukb thereby violating, and talk when I’m Khuzaymah Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – said: “Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – that dealt with women at night, فطرق two men were both found with his wife what he hates. ”
18 – to preserve the prestige and dignity:
The relationship between the couple’s relationship of love and affection, tranquility and mercy.
And the dignity of the wife and the respect required of men, and that women demand respect and reverence for her husband, for the husband to respect his wife, and preserves their dignity, so that Ickramha not يهينها, and commends them and يمدحها always, especially in front of her family and his family; the causes of increasing her love for him, and Aknyha and respected , and tells her: “O Mother of so and so”.
And warns the pair of ill-treatment of his wife and insulting; that treats the treatment of Mr. nation, women are not a nation or a maid when a spouse is not entitled him to Aoboukha given ‘and cursing, or call her بأقبح names that are not interested in women, especially in front of people; because the Prophet – peace be upon him – as when Al-Bukhari and Muslim: ((Muslim youth market is)).
And the Prophet – peace be upon him – as in the “Mustadrak governor” – in “the Whole” -: ((not insured Btaan not, nor curse, nor obscene, nor indecent)).
The husband also not face يقبح; any: Do not beat her at her; Prophet – peace be upon him – says in Sunan Abi Dawood – is in “the Whole” -: ((do not hit the face nor Tqbh)).
In Saheeh Muslim Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said:
“What hit the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – something that never in his hand, nor woman nor a servant, but labors in the way of Allah, and Neil him something never Ventqm of his neighbor, but violates everything from tissues of God, Ventqm,” In true Bukhari and Muslim that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((None of you flogged his wife slave skin, then intercourse with her on the last day)).
Hit the project if Nczt wife and left to obey her husband;, as in the saying – the Almighty -:) and who afraid Nchoizen the فعظوهن and Ahjrōhn in their beds and beat them Otankm the please Tbgua to them means that God was a great graduate (women: 34].
And beatings in this verse has three controls:
1 – to be after the futility of preaching and abandonment in bed.
2 – To be beaten is not severe discipline, self-breaking, and breaking bones.
3 – to raise beatings and prevents if it complies to obey her husband.
19 – to spend it, يكسوها and boys:
First: The alimony:
What is meant by what the husband spends on his wife and children: from food, and clothing …, and so on.
And alimony due on the pair Qur’aan and Sunnah and the consensus and reasonable:
As for the book, it is this:
A – say – the Almighty -:) to spend according to its capacity and as it living Vlenevq which thus to whom God does not cost the breath of God, but what Otaha (Divorce: 7].
B – and saying – the Almighty -:) and the baby has a living and enjoining what كسوتهن ([Al-Baqarah: 233].
Ibn Kathir said – God’s mercy: – “ie: the father of the child births expense, and enjoining what كسوتهن; ie: what were doing usually Omthahin of non profusion not Aguetar, according to his ability in his left and medium and Aguetarh”;. AH.
As for the year, include the following:
A – narrated by Muslim from Jaabir – may Allah be pleased with him – in the character of the argument of the Prophet – peace be upon him – and when he said – peace be upon him -: ((fear God in women; they Awan with you, أخذتموهن faithfully God, استحللتم فروجهن word God, to them you livelihood and enjoining what كسوتهن)).
B – In the novel, the other a Muslim from the hadeeth of Amr Ibn الأحوص – may Allah be pleased with him – that he heard the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – says in Farewell: ((not that you on your wives, really, and your wives, you really: As for your right to your wives, do not يوطئن فرشكم of hate, nor authorizes those who hate, not right you have to improve to them Xothen more and طعامهن)).
In Sunan Abi Dawood from Muawiya ibn single – may Allah be pleased with him – said: I said: O Messenger of Allah, what one of us right wife it? He said: ((to feed them if vaccinated, and capped If Akedzit, do not hit the face, nor Tqbh, abandoned only at home)).
D – and directed by Imam Ahmad narrated from Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him – said: ((The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – is charity, came a man, he said: I have a JD, he said: spent on yourself, he said: I have another, said : Your husband spent, he said: I have another, he said: he spent on the child, he said: I have another, he said: spent on your server, he said: I have another, he said: You saw)).
E – When Bukhari and Muslim that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((good charity what was on the back of riches, and the upper hand is better than the lower hand, and start including counts)).
Increased Daaraqutni: “It was said: count, O Messenger of Allah? Said: ((your wife, who is counting)).
But if God expanded it, Vlausa on his household:
And – was directed by Imam Muslim narrated from Jabir bin Samra – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((If God gave one good, فليبدأ you himself and his family)).
He stated is one of the scholars of their agreement on the necessity of alimony to her husband – if serious – but defiantly disobedient.
Says Ibn Qudamah – may God have mercy on him – the “singer” (7/594):
“The consensus was agreed scholars on the necessity of the expenses of wives to their husbands, if they are adults, but defiantly disobedient them; mentioned by Ibn al-Mundhir and others”;. E.
A woman trapped on the pair, prevents them from acting and acquisitions for dedication to his right, was it to spend on them.
Why should alimony:
Tap went to the cause should be spending on one pair: women imprisoned him, and told the audience: why should alimony: marital; ie: being a wife; “singer” (7/564).
Conditions that alimony:
Conditioned the public to positive alimony for the wife to her husband conditions before and after; “singer” (7/601).
Before entering conditions:
1 – being able to access them, that invites him – after the contract – to engage them, do not, or refrained from entering – no excuse – there is no expense on him.
2 – to be wife Mtikh to intercourse: not to be small, or the mind of intercourse.
3 – that marriage is true, was not corrupt the expense of her husband, a wife can not be regarded as the pair locked; because empowerment is not valid with corruption marriage, does not deserve to meet him in agreement.
After logging conditions:
1 – The pair solvent, Flo was insolvent is not able to alimony, not expense it for insolvent; for saying – the Almighty -:) to spend according to its capacity and as much as it living Vlenevq than to whom God does not cost God breath, but what Otaha (divorce : 7].
2 – to be trapped on it – are not protuberant – If out of obedience, had no expense.
Working spouse or employee her expense?
If a woman works outside the home – in permissible work – If the consent of the pair did not stop her, it should be her alimony; Because greenhouse him right, he may give him, is not satisfied and prevent them from going out – I went to work – fell right to alimony; Because greenhouse In this case, minus; “son of Abdeen,” (2/891).
Respect due Alimony:
Origin of this saying – the Almighty -:) to spend according to its capacity (Divorce: 7].
And saying – the Almighty -:) expanded on the proposed amount and of baggage Virtue ([Al-Baqarah: 236].
And he said – peace be upon him – India: ((Take what is sufficient for you and your child Virtue)); Bukhari.
Qurtubi said – God’s mercy – in the “interpretation” (18/112): “alimony ability sufficiency, and will vary from obliged to alimony in the amount.”
1 – enough for the wife and boys Promotion of Virtue:
This varies according to the different conditions and places and times.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah – may Allah have mercy on him – as in “total fatwas” (34/86): “If the duty is sufficiently Virtue, is well known that sufficiently Virtue varied condition wife in need, and the diversity of time and place, and the diversity of the event pair of left and insolvency, rather meager short covering, long ككسوة severe “;. e.
2 – able men and capacity:
The Abu Dawood bonds – The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((Otamohen which eat, Aksuhen, than Tkedzon)).
The prolonged scholars – may God have mercy on them – in determining the amount that must be in alimony, and separated in that what we see based on the norms of their time, as well as the issue of alimony: Are honorable in which case the husband, or wife, or unchanged?
And the right – which is indicated by the Quranic texts developed – that honorable – on the left and insolvency – if the husband is the view of Maliki and Shafi’i; for saying – the Almighty -:) to spend according to its capacity and as much as it living Vlenevq than to whom God does not cost God breath, but what Otaha (Divorce: 7].
Said Khattaabi – God’s mercy -: “In this positive spending and clothing her, a as expanded husband”;. E.
Do I need to husband alimony treat his wife?
Came in “singer Muhtaaj” (3/431), and “Qinaa” (5/536), and in the other:
That the doctrine of the four imams: that the husband does not have to expense of treating his wife and Tdawiyeha.
But, Dr. “and gift Zoheily” in his book “Islamic jurisprudence and evidence” (7/594), he said:
“But it seems that building this to say that the therapy – in the past – were not of the basic needs, and did not abound needed, but now it has become the need for treatment such as the need for food and food, but the most important; because the patient prefers often يتداوى on each something, and whether he can eat a complain and يتوجع of aches and pains that depart him and Ottaghdh, and threatened with death?!
So I see the necessity of the expense of the medication on the pair, like any other necessary expenses, and also answer the parent’s expense medicine necessary for the Born unanimously, Is it good ten to enjoy the husband his wife if health, then give it back to her family of processors if the disease? “; Of. Him.
Beware dear husband:
1 – to feed your wife and your children from haram:
In Musnad Imam Ahmad that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((O Ka’b ibn عجرة, he will not enter Paradise flesh and blood نبتا haraam, first by fire)).
The old woman says to her husband, an outside endeavor to work: Fear God, and you and Sacred gain; then we endure hunger and harm, no patient free of Hell “;” revival “(1/748).
2 – Wish the wife when spending them:
Was directed by Imam Muslim narrated from Abu Dhar – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((three not speak to them God’s Day of Judgment, not look at them, and praise them, and for them a painful torment: Almspl garment, and Mannan which does not give nothing but him, and spent his goods NATO false)); true Whole (3067).
Parents preferred to spend on:
The preferred charity and acts of worship to God, to spend the husband on his wife and children; Bukhaari and Muslim narrated from Abu Masood Ansari – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((If you spent Muslim expense of his family, a Ihzbha, he had charity)).
The Muslim should be calculated expense of his family and children, Naoya this alimony to do something God Aafaffhm, and صيانتهم all look forward to in the hands of the people, and in Sahih Muslim: ((JD spent the sake of God, and a dinar spent in the neck, and a dinar charity by the poor, Dinar spent on your family, the greatest of which is spent on reward your family)).
When Bukhari and Muslim that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said Saad bin Abi Waqas – may Allah be pleased with him -: ((important that you spent on your family’s expense, you will be rewarded, even lift them to bite your wife)).
– In the novel: ((I do not spend a the تبتغي expense the face of God, but carried out, even make them bite in your wife)).
In Musnad Ahmad, from the hadeeth Miqdaam bin Madekkerb – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((what fed yourself is yours charity, and fed your child is yours charity, and fed your wife is yours charity, and fed the servers is yours charity of)); Saheehah (452).
Indeed, the quest for the wife and children jihad in the name of God – the Almighty – he took out Tabarani in “Big” – which in the Whole – Ka’b ibn عجرة, said: “Over the Prophet – peace be upon him – a man, and he saw his companions of his skin and his What they like, they said: O Messenger of Allah, if this was for God’s sake? Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((if output is seeking over his son are young, it is for the sake of God, albeit out seeking the parents were two, he for God’s sake, although it came out seeking on himself Aafha, it is for the sake of God, albeit out to seek hypocrisy مفاخرة, it is in the way of the devil)); properly carrot and Tarheeb (1692).
But to make Abdullah bin Mubarak to seek a better wife and children of jihad for the sake of God, was to say – as in “Sir Heraldry” (8/399) -: “I do not gain site is located on the Kids Have nothing, not jihad for the sake of God.”
The sin of a palace in alimony for parents:
If alimony is obligatory for the husband, the negligence which is the worst sin towards; for breach of duty, the man responsible before God for his wife and children; In true son Hibbaan that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((God means every shepherd what Astraah: Save or scaly, even ask the man about his family)).
In Saheeh Muslim Abdullah bin Amr – God bless them – that the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – said: ((enough sin that a man locked up who owns the magnitude)).
In Musnad Ahmad, In Sunan Abi Dawood that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((Enough is enough sin for a man to waste of يقوت)); weakness other, and a man in the “perfusion” (3/407).
It calamities that afflict a woman and a stingy man, do not spend on her and her children, and it was – peace be upon him – seek refuge from miserliness.
Was the Prophet – peace be upon him – says-as-you-Bukhari and Muslim: ((I seek refuge in You from disability and laziness, and cheese, pyramid, and avarice, I seek refuge in You from the torment of the grave, and the trials of life and death)).
If plagued women pair unchanged so – no stingy – Vltakhz without him knowing what enough and her son Virtue; therefore Bukhaari in his Saheeh Baba, said: “The door if not spent man, فللمرأة to take without knowing what enough and her son Virtue,” and then cited interview with Aisha – God bless them – she said: “The India girl threshold said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan man stingy, not giving me what enough for me and my son, but what took him, and he does not know, he said: ((Take what is sufficient for you and your child Virtue)).
And this even though it is a sign of the necessity of spending on the wife and efficiency.
His son Qudamah as in “singer” (7/563): “And the sign on the necessity of alimony on her husband, and that it is destined Bkivaatha, and the expense of his son by without as much as كفايتهم, and so kindly, and that it has to take this on their own without his knowledge If you do not give it to him “;. e.
Secondly: As cladding:
The scholars are unanimously agreed that it should be cladding for the wife to her husband, if enabled him to herself on the face to be them; saying – the Almighty -:) and the baby has a living and enjoining what كسوتهن ([Al-Baqarah: 233].
Whereas progress saying – peace be upon him – said in an interview Jaber – may Allah be pleased with him -: ((and them you livelihood and كسوتهن Virtue)); Muslim.
When Abu Dawood narrated from rolling – may Allah be pleased with him – that a man asked the Prophet – peace be upon him -: What my wife on the right? He said: ((feeding, which it feeds, which are of the clad)); Saheeh Abi Dawood (2/244).
Because clothing is a must consistently; Vlzimth Kalnvqh, also unanimously agreed that it should be cladding enough for women, and that this sufficiently vary in length and limited, and Smonha and Hzalha, and depending on the country in which you live in the heat and cold “;” Kindergarten students, “(9 / 47).
If the pair كساها, then divorced, or died, or died before they wear dresses, is retrieved?
If you receive a women’s expense imposed, then he divorced her husband or died from or died, it is not permissible for the husband – not to his heirs – retrieval healthiest scholarly, a Hanafi and Maliki, and healthier when Shaafa’is, and the face of the Hanbalis; because the mouth is what it is, and pay them cladding After the obligatory, had no reference therein; and because they link, فأشبهت the gift, and may not be back in the donation in the event of death of the donor or talented “; true jurisprudence year (3/201).
The wife has to take into account the circumstances of her husband, not ترهقه great deal of applications and expenditure is not what you need, and that the patient him if he is poor, has praised the Prophet – peace be upon him – the women of Quraish for this; has Bukhaari and Muslim from Abu Huraira – may God bless him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((good Women camel Rkpn Women Quraish; Ahnah Born in the small, and Eraah a pair in the same hand)).
It assigns women to this: to look at who is lower than in living; has Bukhaari and Muslim from Abu Huraira – may Allah be pleased with him – said: The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((Look at who is below you, and look to someone who is above you; he is more worthy of that not تزدروا the blessing of God be upon you)).
20 – that provides them with the appropriate legal housing:
As for housing, it is obligatory for the wife to her husband in agreement:
1 – Because God – the Almighty – make absolute retro residential her husband, Fujob the housing to that which is at the heart of a first marriage.
Said God – the Almighty -:) Osknuhen the in terms of سكنتم of your grandfather ([Divorce: 6].
2 – Because God – the Almighty – enjoined Virtue cohabitation between couples, saying:) and enjoining what عاشروهن (women: 19].
It is enjoined known: that inhabited dwelling secured it on herself and her money.
3 – The wife does not dispense with the housing; latency for the eyes, and enjoy, keeping heirlooms; therefore was really dwell on her husband “;” Badai “(4/15).
Rightful dwelling recipe:
Honorable in the dwelling legitimate wife: Is the capacity of the husband and the case of the wife, compared to the expense considering that both of them right consequential on the marriage contract; and saying – the Almighty -:) Osknuhen terms of سكنتم of your grandfather (Divorce: 6], and saying – the Almighty -:) to spend according to its capacity and as it living Vlenevq which thus to whom God (Divorce: 7].
Obligatory to be as much as if you benefit: easier and hardship Average, so habitation, it is the view of the public.
And said Shaafa’is: honorable housing is the only case of the wife, as opposed to saying in alimony!
They said: Because the binding housing بملازمة wife, they can not substitutes, if not considered intact, it is damage, and the damage religiously forbidden, but it can replaced expenditure “;” singer Muhtaaj “, (3/430).
Said the owner of “true jurisprudence of the Year” (3/203):
As a first view of the majority; advanced to the verses, and God knows.
1 – habitable wife with the husband’s family:
The pair to be the people here: parents, born of non-spouse.
He went public – Tap and Shafi’i and Hanbali – that it is not permissible to combine the parents – or other relatives – and wife in one house, and be a wife to refrain from housing with one of them, but that you choose is so; because the housing of the right, he does not have to involve other therein; and because it is so damaged.
The Maalikis, Vvrkoa between the noble wife – with Destiny – and menial, Vmnawa collect honest with his parents, and أجازوه in menial jobs, only to have harm them.
The collection of the wife and the husband was born in one house, it was great to understand intercourse, it is not permissible to scholars agreement; for the damage, which is their right to, Cuomo consent.
The pair was born does not understand small intercourse, Vascanh with it permissible, and do not have the right to refrain from habitation with him “; true jurisprudence year (3/203).
2 – indwelling of people wife with a spouse:
Not for a woman to live one of the male relative at the home of her husband, and the husband to prevent her from housed with her, but that which pleases Him, there is nothing wrong then, and while her son is not a spouse, not permissible for her إسكانه them without satisfaction pair as well as when the public, under Maliki prevention including whether The pair scientist at the time of construction, he knew about it and did not have a brooder, he does not have to prevent them from إسكانه with them “; true jurisprudence year (3/203).
3 – Are wives gathered in one house?
Unanimously agreed that: not permissible to combine two women in one house; because that is not cohabitation Virtue; and it leads to a rivalry that forbade the street it; And because each one may hear sense if he came the other, or see it; raising their enmity and jealousy , and so on.
And prevent the combination of two women in one house the exclusive right for them, fall into Bredihama of when the public; “open Almighty,” (4/207).
I said: The basic principle is that makes each of whom beta-wife; verb Prophet – peace be upon him – said God – the Almighty -:) O ye who believe, do not enter houses of the Prophet unless authorized you (Ahzab: 53].
Stated – the Almighty – it houses, Beta was not one, but if she agrees to that jazz; because right for them, فلهما forgiveness leaving, and God knows “;” the jurisprudence of the year for women “; Abu Malik, (p. 440).
21 – runs on Aafaffha, and meet the desires:
The husband has to lead the right of his wife in chastity and sexual gratification, is forbidden for a man to forsake mattress his wife is not a legitimate excuse, as it does not forsake his wife under the pretext of concern worship and seek knowledge; has forbade the Prophet – peace be upon him – about celibacy and left مجامعة women; also In an interview الرهط three – which is when Bukhari in the book “Marriage” – and modern Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Aas in the story of his marriage – which is when Bukhari also – where he said Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-Aas – God bless them -: “I was fast all my life, and I read the Koran every night, he said: either reported to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and either sent to me, فأتيته, he said to me: ((Did not Tell you fast forever, and read the Koran every night?)), I said: Yes, O Prophet of Allah, I did not want it but good , said: ((the Bhspk to fast every month for three days)), I said: O Prophet of Allah, I أطيق better than that, he said: ((the for your husband you really, but Zork  You really, but your body you really)) , said: ((breaking fast David prophet of God; it was the people I worship)), I said: O Prophet of Allah, and the fast of David? said: ((He used to fast alternate days)), said: ((and read the Koran in each month) ), I said: O Prophet of Allah, can I stand the best of it, he said: ((فاقرأه in every twenty)), I said: O Prophet of Allah, can I stand the best of it, he said: ((فاقرأه in every ten)), I said: O Prophet of Allah, I أطيق better than that, he said: ((فاقرأه in every seven, no increase on it; the your husband you really, but Zork you really, but your body you really)), he said: she stressed, stressed, and he told me the Prophet – peace be upon him -: ((you do not know, you might be long your age)).
And directed by Imam Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Aisha – God bless them – she said: “I entered the Khuylh girl sage, was at the Osman bin Mazon, said: saw the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – Bmazh its Ordinary, he said to me: ((O Aisha , what Ibz body Khuylh!)), Aisha said: O Messenger of God, a woman has a husband fast day and the night, it is like someone who has no husband, and stopped herself and miss it, she said: He sent the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – to Osman bin Mazon , came, he said: ((O Osman, Ergbh for the years!)), said Osman: No, by Allah, O Messenger of God, but سنتك ask, said the Prophet – peace be upon him -: ((I sleep, and pray, and fast, and fast, shag women, Fear God, O Osman;, for your family you really, though you really for your guest, but for yourself you really, said: breaking fast, arrived and sleep)).
• son increased Hibbaan in his novel: “missed the women afterwards like a bride, told her: Meh! Said:” made us what happened to the people. ”
In Sahih Al-Bukhari in the story of Abu Darda and Solomon, and in the modern saying – peace be upon him – to Abu Darda: ((O Abu Darda, if your body you really, but Lord you really, but your guest you really have, and your family you really, but for yourself you really, deaf and fast, arrived, Wat your family, and give the devil his due)).
Intercourse with women and the husband’s duty to show the two scholarly opinions, is the view of Abu Hanifa, Ahmad, and was favored by Shaykh al-Islam, united and confronted with what was as much as they need and adequacy, and ability; so that it does not exhausting his body, and works for a living.
Does not matter what some scholars said: that intercourse is obligatory once every four months, it is true that alone: the ability of men and women adequacy.
A “singer” (7/573): It was said to Imam Ahmad: How much do you miss the man about his wife? He said: six months, writes to it, he refused to return, the difference between the two ruling “;. E.
This if the sunset man destination him harm women, but this was Omar – may Allah be pleased with him – see the annulment of the marriage if the rolls right intercourse, and this is the view of the scholars, they said: It is the right of a spouse to terminate the marriage to leave intercourse; either bug defects such as illness, which it is impossible to have intercourse with him, or to the detriment of congenital illness or neglect; because it left of a right.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah – may Allah have mercy on him – as in his book “Islamic politics in the reform of the sponsor and the parish (p. 862):
“The women on the man really in the money, a dowry, alimony Virtue, and really in his body, which is ten and have fun, so if to them, earned the band consensus of the Muslims, as well as if Mjboba or عنينا can not have intercourse with her, they have a band, وطؤها duty it when Most of the scholars “;. e.
This is indicated by the parent also talk that came when Bukhari narrated from Sa’d bin Abi Waqas – may Allah be pleased with him – said: “Re Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – Ali Osman bin Mazon celibacy , even if he had been authorized to Achtchina.”
There is a rule in Islam decided by the Prophet – peace be upon him – as in Musnad Ahmad: ((do no harm)).
When the ruling and Bayhaqi from the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed al – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((God of harmful harmful, it is hard incision upon him)).
And to refrain from women cause her harm as it is known, has narrated popular as in “Workbook Razak”: “The heel Ben Wall was sitting at the Omar Bin Al Khattab – may Allah be pleased with him – came a woman, said: O Commander of the Faithful what I saw a man never better than My husband, God It’s spend the night remains, and remains his day fasting, فاستغفر have praised it, and I felt too embarrassed women and the feedback, he said heel: O faithful Hla infected – Onceft – woman on her husband, we have informed you in the complaint, he said to heel: فاقض between them; you I understand from her what I did not understand, and said: I see like a woman by the three women are Rabathen, فاقض three days and nights worship therein, and have day and night, Umar said: By Allah, what do you think the first Bojb than the other, go you are a judge of Basra, yes judge you “; narrated by Abdul Razzaq in his work, and horses in the” perfusion “(7/80).
The husband should know that إتيانه to his wife worship rewarded them; was directed by Imam Muslim narrated from Abu Dhar – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((in a few of you charity)), they said: O Messenger of Allah, Velayati one of us desires and have some reward? He said: ((Do you see if he does it in a haram, whether it is the button? Same token, if placed in his wife was paid)).
What a great virtue that the marriage turns into a manifestation of slavery one Subduer, Imam Ahmad was asked: rents man that comes his family, and has no lust?
He said: E. God, calculated the boy, but did not want the boy, says: This young woman, why do not rewarded? “;” Singer “(7/31).
22 – to يداعبها the and Alatefha:
If the body live food and drink, the secret of the continuation of life between the spouses be بطيب good ten between them, that kind word and a smile bright, banter and men Mlaabth to his wife – whom the most important reasons for the continuing relationship of good between the couple, and perfume for a woman’s heart, and relieving themselves, and reparation for her sake, for the man to court his wife and Alaabha, and يداعبها and Adhagha, and this is something which permitted Shara; was Abu Dawood narrated from obstacle Ben Amer – may Allah be pleased with him – that the Prophet – peace be upon him – said: ((It is not fun, but three: disciplining the man his horse, and Mlaabth his family, and throws Bqosh and dart)).
The Prophet – peace be upon him – racing against Aisha, and was preceded by visits, preceded by visits; In Musnad Ahmad – bail is true – the mother of believers Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said:
“I went out with the Prophet – peace be upon him – in some of his travels and I’m going did not bring the meat, not أبدن, he said to the people: ((applied)), and they came, and then he said to me: ((Come up أسابقك)), Fassabakth, فسبقته, he was speechless Me, even if carried meat and Bdnt and I forgot, I went out with him in some of his travels, he said to the people: ((applied)), and they came, and then he said to me: ((Come up أسابقك)), Fassabakth, Vsbakna, and started to laugh, he says: ((this those)). ”
According to another report narrated by Abu Dawood from Aisha – God bless them – it was with the Prophet – peace be upon him – in the book which is under way, she said: did not bring the meat, not أبدن , and he said to his companions: ((applied)), they came Then he said: ((Come أسابقك)), Fassabakth, فسبقته on my feet, and when he was after, I went out with him in the book, and he said to his companions: ((applied)), and they came, and then said: ((Come أسابقك)), and forgot who was , has carried the meat, and Bdnt, I said: How أسابقك O Messenger of Allah, I’m on this case? He said: ((تفعلن the)), Fassabakth the, Vsbakna, he started laughing and says: ((this those Sbqh the)); true Whole (7007).
It was – peace be upon him – calling for his wives at the best names, was يرخم name Aisha, says: ((O عائش)), and possibly her fiancé (b (O Auich)), and this love, and to bring happiness to her heart, and was Aknyha, says her : ((O Umm Abdullah Al)), and he used to say to her: ((O rubella)): egg mixed with red.
And see how the Prophet – peace be upon him – like Aisha – God bless them – and Jens them; were Muslim narrated from Anas – may Allah be pleased with him – that a neighbor of the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – Persian was ok gravy, and he made the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – then came the call, he said: ((these?)) to Aisha, he said: No, said the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((not)), returned calls, said the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((these?)), he said: No, he said the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((not)), and then returned calls, said the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him -: ((these?)) He said: Yes, in the third, puppeteers Atdafan a even came home. ”
When extroversion with the wife, not the husband Kallimona Fabeef, or a solid break the even be a compromise between stiffness and flexibility, there ينبسط man with his wife to the point that fall prestige, and dare him a wife, and toughen them, into making fending him off, Vamadaabh and الممازحة do not go out for an end moderation; said Ghazali – as in the “revival” (1/726): – “women therein, evil, and therein weakness, politics and harshness treat evil, Almtaabh and compassion treat weakness, doctor clever is estimated treatment as the disease, let him look man first to the morals experience , then treats including repairs as required intact “;. AH.
But see – my husband – to this position, which shows how the Prophet – peace be upon him – teasing and Atsamer with his family:
In the book “Ten Women”; for women – bond properly – from interview with Aisha – God bless them – she said: “I had the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – and Soda, So I made Khozara – meat cutting, and hurt him a lot of water, if the maturity of throwing it exact – I came by, I said to Soda: Klee, she said: I do not like, and I said: God eat or Oltkhan face, she said: What I Bbagbh, I took something from the dish, Vltcht by her face, and the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – what me and them, Reducing the Messenger of Allah his knees Tstakid the me, Vtnolt the dish something, Vmsan by my face, and make the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – the laughs. ”
Narrated Hassan bin Sufyan Anas – may Allah be pleased with him – he said: “The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – of people Avkh with his wives.”
Let my brother, to your wife granularity; love Balthabb, Fathbb them with kind words and good treatment, find the fruits of all this happiness fill your heart.
23 – be consulted, and respects her opinion:
It is the right of the wife to her husband shared in the advice, and it takes her mind, especially in matters pertaining to the wife and children, and he has to Abadelha views and discussed it; until the benefit, if said opinion is right, do not hesitate to take it with gratitude, it does not pay any attention to who flaunt and Ahakron opinion of women, and take Bmchaorthen and warn of it; depending on the habits of ignorance, or conversations placed; such as: ((Haorōhn and Khalvohn)), and the interview: ((obedience women regret)); two حديثان no basis for them.
But this is the opposite of what it was like our Prophet – peace be upon him – he was taking the opinion of his wives, as happened on Hudaybiyah – and the talk in Sahih Al-Bukhari – He ordered the Prophet – peace be upon him – companions to do and Anhroa then shave, did not have one; even asked the Prophet – may Allahanh pleased – it three times, however, did not respond even entered the Prophet – peace be upon him – Umm Salamah, recalled her what killing people, she said: O Prophet of Allah, you like it? Get out, and none of them spoke a word until تنحر your body, and invites Halqk, Faihlqk, went out, did not speak to any of them even do that, when they saw it, they Venhroa, and make them shave another, until he almost each kill other mines. ”
See my brother – God bless – how he survived the destruction of the violation companions of the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – and by taking the Prophet – peace be upon him – to the opinion and advice of Umm Salama
Ameen, thanks so much for responding. I really appreciate it. But. . .since it is so long. . .could you kindly summarize it in just a few paragraphs? This will help me and my readers get to the point.
So, my friend, what are 5 main points – each in a sentence or two – about what the Qur’an says about how a man should treat his wife from what the Qur’an says?
That was indeed long!—perhaps it is OK if I give my take on what the Quran says…..?…
1) Tawheed (Unity) reconciliation into one. The One God has created both male and female. All humanity —both male and female, worship the same ONE God—the only God in existence. God is most just, most compassionate, most merciful to all of his creation—including all humanity.
2) Surah 4 verse 1—humanity created from a singularity with mutual rights.
“O humanity! fear (awe) your Guardian Lord, who created you from a single soul (nafs) and created out of it her mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women;- Fear (awe) God, through whom you demand your mutual (rights), and be heedful of the wombs: for God ever watches over you.”
3) Surah 30 verse 21—Mates were created as a sign (reflection) of God’s mercy, compassion, and love.
“and among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and he has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Surely these are the signs for those who reflect.”
4) Surah 16 verse 72—Reflecting on God’s blessings helps us to strengthen Taqwa (love of God). Our family is our blessing and our responsibility and just as God cares for all his creation—so must we care for our family.
“And God has made for you mates of your own nature, and made for you out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they believe in vain things and be ungrateful for God’s favors?”
5) Surah 16 verses 77-78. —-God has created humanity for a purpose—our (short) life on earth is an experience and a test…..a blessing and a responsibility. Through our relationships, we gain in taqwa and come closer to God.
“To God belongs the unseen of the heavens and earth. And the matter of the hour (of Judgement) is as the twinkling of an eye, or even quicker: for God has power over all things.”
“It is he who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing; and he gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affections: that you may give thanks to God.”
Dear Anonymous Muslim Friend, great to hear from you again. Long time.
Thanks for sharing these 5 points (I took the liberty to put them in bold so I and my readers could see them easily – hope you don’t mind). I sincerely appreciate and agree with much of what you have written. For example, husbands and wives should have mutual rights. Marriage should lead us into greater love of God, closeness to Him, and thanks to Him (I really, really like that one).
I think one of your points also suggests that marriage is a test from God. If that was your point, I heartily agree! Marriage tests our patience, commitment – and most of all – our love.
Marriage shows us what is in our hearts.
What did you think of the quotes from the Bible about a man should treat his wife?
Thankyou for your greetings. I have been away for a while but hope to participate more after ramadan.
I did not find much difference between the Bible and the Quran as both consider marriage an important relationship. There are a couple of points on which the Quran differs in viewpoint—however, since it is ramadhan, a time of reflection on God’s blessings and of concentrating on taqwa, I may, perhaps, discuss those points after ramadan.
So, for now, I will elaborate on the concept of marriage as a test.
All of life is a test, trials are a test of patience and faith, and blessings/prosperity are a test of grace and charity. likewise in marriage, we deal with adversity with patience and kindness ….and in prosperity (not referring to monetary prosperity) with gratefulness and charity.
Aristotle said ” We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” Therefore, the habits of compassion, mercy, kindness, caring and respect that we cultivate within our homes will also bear fruit in our associations outside the home, with neighbors, colleagues, subordinates, boss, acquaintances and strangers. As we cultivate these habits of excellence and practice them—we build stronger families and better communities….which is only a step away from promoting the betterment of our nations and all humanity.
(God’s will= right belief that promotes right intentions that lead to right actions for the benefit of all of Gods creations.)
The reason why blessings/prosperity is a test is because we can become arrogant and ungrateful towards God. Surah 90 points this out……
In the name of God the most compassionate, the most merciful.
I swear by this land
You have come to dwell on this land
by the begetter and the begotten
We created the human being for hardship
Does he think there is no power over him?
He says: “look at the goods I consumed” (devoured)
Does he think no one sees him?
Did we not endow him with eyes, lips, and tongue
and guide him to the two high plains (paths)
and yet he did not climb the steep path
what can tell you of the steep path?
to free a slave
to feed the destitute on a day of hunger
a kinsman (relative), orphan, or a stranger out of luck and in need
be of those who keep the faith
who counsel one another to patience
who counsel to compassion
they are of the right.
as for those who cast our signs away
they are of the left
over them a vault of fire.
Very, very good. Thank you for your wisdom and the verses from the Qur’an that you shared.
I want to share just a few verses about adversity from the Bible with you. You don’t need to respond now. Enjoy focusing on the majesty of God, His blessings, and simply loving Him in this time of Ramadan. May God meet you in incredible ways.
Here are the verses – much of it about rejoicing in the tests and trials of this life:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (the prophet Isa in the Good News of John, chapter 16:33)
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (the letter of James, chapter 1, verses 2-4)
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” (the first letter of Peter, chapter 4, verses 12-14)
“. . .we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (the letter of Paul to the Romans, chapter 5, verses 3-4)
Again, enjoy your Ramadan with our glorious Creator.
I appreciate your understanding.
All of the quotes are full of wisdom, but I found this one particularly impressive……..
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (the prophet Isa in the Good News of John, chapter 16:33)
I will use it for reflection in the following days………………..
see you after ramadan!.
Congratulations on your anniversary! May God keep blessing the marriage of you and your wife for many years to come.
Also want to add this from proverbs 31, its long but i’m guessing most people won’t look it up:
The Capable Wife
10 How hard it is to find a capable wife! She is worth far more than jewels!
11 Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor.
12 As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm.
13 She keeps herself busy making wool and linen cloth.
14 She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do.
15 She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant women what to do.
16 She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard.
17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious.
18 She knows the value of everything she makes, and works late into the night.
19 She spins her own thread and weaves her own cloth.
20 She is generous to the poor and needy.
21 She doesn’t worry when it snows, because her family has warm clothing.
22 She makes bedspreads and wears clothes of fine purple linen.
23 Her husband is well known, one of the leading citizens.
24 She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants.
25 She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future.
26 She speaks with a gentle wisdom.
27 She is always busy and looks after her family’s needs.
28 Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her.
29 He says, “Many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised.
31 Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.
Thank you, Marvin! I am so blessed to have a wife like the woman mentioned in the book of Proverbs, chapter 31.
The more I think about it, I think this chapter – primarily about a righteous, hard-working wife – tells us a bit more about our subject of how a man should treat his wife.
A husband should:
#1 – put his confidence in his wife (verse 11)
#2 – praise his wife (verse 28, 29)