(Preface: I heard some good words from the speaker at the mosque I visited on Friday – the first day of Ramadan. Amongst other things, he spoke on the importance of being faithful to your wife in times of temptation. This blog is in appreciation for my wife and – by the grace of God – our 34 years of faithfulness to one another.)

I still remember the first time I saw her.

It was the beginning of a new year at our university – 1975.

She was standing in a line in a blue dress waiting to get a phone for her room in the women’s dorm. I was stunned by her beauty and even commented about it to a friend standing with me in a separate line for the guy’s dorm!

A few days later was the first day of classes. I got there early, sat my notebook on a desk, and left the room for a few minutes. When I came back in, there she was again. . .the girl in the line. . the one in the blue dress. And of all places in the room, she was sitting next to where I had sat down my notebook!

For the next few months, I watched that girl. I never talked to her that much that I remember, I just watched her. I wanted to know what kind of person she was:

Did she love God? Was he humble? Was she kind? Was she morally pure?

In short, was she as beautiful on the inside as the outside?

Time confirmed it. She truly was.

I finally worked up the nerve to talk to her and later ask her on a date. She said “yes”! We dated off and on (long story) for a few years and kept our commitment to the Lord to keep our relationship pure in a world of immorality. I won’t bore you with all the details of what happened in our early years but on July 22nd, 1978 – 34 years ago today – that girl and I got married.

By the goodness of God and through prayer, we have stayed married.

Can I give a little advice to you men out there from King Solomon (Sulaiman for my Muslim readers)? As I wrote in an earlier post, at one time in his life King Solomon actually had 700 wives and 300 concubines (see 1 Kings 11:1-7 in the Bible). But listen to what he said after having all those women (Proverbs 5:18):

“. . .rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

Men, commitment to your wife is one of the greatest things you can ever accomplish in your short time on earth. Making her feel loved, protected, honored, and special. For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. When you’re young and when you’re old. Forsaking all others. Keeping your vows. . .till death do you part.

A life-time commitment.

We would both say that it hasn’t been easy. We would both say that we have sometimes wondered why God brought us together because we are such different people. And to my shame, I admit that I often failed miserably to love my wife properly through the years and have had to repent to God and to her for the pain I caused by my self-centeredness and controlling nature. I continually pray now that I will learn how to love like Jesus loved. It is a lesson I will be learning the rest of my life. It is a lesson I want to learn.

I close this post by saying,

Thank you, MJ, for marrying me 34 years ago today.

I am still stunned by your beauty – inside and out.

Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.”

(Postscript: even though I grew up in Kansas – a few hundred miles away from any African-Americans – I loved the powerful soul music of “Motown” from Detroit, Michigan. One such song was by one of my favorite all time singing groups known as “The Four Tops.” If you want to watch them singing (actually, lip syncing) the title of this blog post, click below on the video from a show called “Soul Train” way back in about 1973. You will probably laugh at the clothes, hairstyles, and dancing, but I hope you will listen to the words and enjoy the music!)


Four Tops – Ain’t No Woman (Like The One I Got) Lyrics
Songwriters: Dennis Earle Lambert and Brian Potter

Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.
Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.
Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.

Every day the sun comes up around her.
She can make the birds sing harmony.
Every drop of rain is glad it found her.
Heaven must have made her just for me.
When she smiles so warm and tender,
A sight for sore eyes to see.

Oooh, ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.
(Oh, no, they don’t come better.)
To make her happy doesn’t take a lot.
(She don’t ask for things, no diamond rings.)
So together, like a hand in glove.
(Like pages in a letter.)
Ain’t no woman like the one I love.

She can fill me up when it’s down I’m going.
Put a little music in my day.
Wouldn’t be surprised if my love keeps growing.
Bigger every minute that she stays away.
I would kiss the ground she walks on,
Cause it’s my word, my word she’ll obey, now.

Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.
(Well, I kiss the ground she walks on.)
To make her happy doesn’t take a lot.
(She’s a real good friend right to the end.)
So together like a hand in glove.
(I’m a lonely man when she’s gone.)
People, ain’t no woman like the one I love.

Oooh. What a good, good thing I’ve got.
She means to me a lot.
Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got.